If It Would Hurt This Much...

... then why did we have to meet? --- Kagome, in tears

I thought Inuyasha and Kagome's romance had lost the power to reach me.


I guess not. Must be of a piece with everything else that's happened.


Maybe it's the feeling of being second-best. Maybe it's the feeling of never being enough. Maybe it's the knowing that no matter how much you might love someone, that you will never be first in their heart because that place is already taken...


Their story is simple, sweet, maybe even childish. But occasionally, I still find it wrenching.

"Someday I Will Love Somebody...

...who will not expect me to save the world..." --- Andrew Wiggin, THE Speaker for the Dead


Highlights of the week:


1. Monday: Worked like a horse.

2. Tuesday: Skipped class. To continue working like a horse.

3. Wednesday: Went home early. To work like a horse at home. But I couldn't solve my systems of equations. Boohoo.

4. Thursday: Mad scramble to finish the work I've been working like a horse on. We print a draft copy for the VP to see. I go off to class, with my unfinished homework. The prof kindly agrees to give an extension. Thank God for small miracles.

5. Friday: My outfit for the day was a hit. With a motley of comments ranging from: "Nakakamangha!" --- from Janet, to "Ang sexy naman!" --- from, well, various people, to "Lady'ng lady" --- from Mark, and the funniest, "Parang gusto kong pumalakpak!" --- from Rex.
On the other hand.... the work I cut class for? The VP basically didnt like how we (ahem, I, ako nga pala mostly ang responsible dun) had organized the report. But we submitted to the client anyway, and will probably be submitting another one more to the VP's liking.

So yeah, despite the dress comments, I'm broken-hearted.

Bought 2 pocketbooks (1 Newberry Honor book and its sequel), 'coz I couldn't get the pedicure I wanted. I needed some kind of mental ice cream.

6. Saturday: Attended an HRD seminar for the pet project. I'll blog about that separately, or not, depending on my mood. And I miss you. I'm depressed about the fact that I do. Lately I've been crying the tears I didn't cry the night I decided to quit you. I thought time and distance would dull the ache. It only seems to have poetically magnified it.

So yeah, I'm broken-hearted.

Bought another pocketbook (by Barbara Hambly). Trying to rekindle my love affair with books.



But I feel generally wan.

At least, ear-tweak has put up a scan of "A merciful heart."

"What a strange way in which to resemble his father."

I May Never Come This Way Again

Paul was finally able to upload the 274 (Cognitive Psychology) class picture. I've really been looking forward to having a copy of it. I'm not sure why. It was a good way to end the class.

And... the CEM Anniversary (embarrassing) pictures. (sheepish grin) The theme was Sayaw! And our department got assigned the 60's decade.

And for that effort, we won first place :) The prize money, we've spent on Crispy Pata, Sinigang na Salmon sa Mison, Ensaladang Talong, and Pinakbet from Kamayan. And there's still left-over for some ice-cream some other day. Yeah! Winner talaga. Hahahaha.

And I thought this picture was a good way to end this blog.

Seryoso?

You Should Be a Romance Novelist

You see the world as it should be, and this goes double for all matters of the heart. You can find the romance in any situation, and you would make a talented romance story writer... And while you may be a traditional romantic, you're just as likely to be drawn to quirky or dark love stories. As long as it deals with infatuation, heartbreak, and soulmates - you could write it.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

And the Diamond-hard Hardness of His Heart Was Transfigured into Light

... That's 2 lines in a row now from the same author! Barbara Hambly rocks.


To know more is to love more. At least that is how it is with me. The more I know about something, or someone, the more I love them. Or the more I love, the more I love. >The harder the fall, the harder the fall? Hahahaha<. I'm saying this now because I'm beginning to realize I'm not so unteachable when it comes to music. And that the more I know, the more fun it is to know more. Right now I know that Phil Collins wasn't the first to do "You can't hurry love." Yes. Let's celebrate my small achievements. And I like Bamboo just because. I like the way they sound.

Shattering into a Thousand Green Jangling Pieces

My body is going into self-destruct. Or shut-down safety mode. I am constantly tired and sleepy, and my eyes if they don't get better may need an operation. Hopefully the antibiotic will work.


I had my sister drop the medicine into my eye. I was supposed to look up as she squeezes a drop in, look down, and without squeezing my eyes shut, swish my eyeballs around to spread the medicine. I was moving my eyeballs in a clockwise direction, while Rudd was making counterclockwise movements with her finger.

Dammit!

"Hey, you're making me dizzy!"


And she starts snorting in hilarity.


Harhar.


========

He caught my eye the first time I saw him. Now he has grown in power and is coming into his father's heritage: compassion for those without the power to defend themselves. I knew there was more to him than just a pretty face.


So now it's confirmed. I LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA!


Scanlation! Scanlation! Scanlation!

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Interior design is not as fun as it seems. We had the pet project office walls repainted and it took us about an hour (or more) to reach a consensus on wall color choice. Gahhh. The floor tiles would be even harder. But it's gratifying to see the paint job done well and on time. Now the walls don't have mysterious, ugly, sooty handprints.

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I have this classmate in statistics class who is such a sweetheart. I bet he has dozens of older sisters. It's my pet theory. Maybe I should ask him next week.


Oh, why do I think he's a sweetheart? Nothing much really. It's just that he's the kind of guy who would pick up your umbrella when it gets knocked off your chair (even if he had nothing to do with it getting knocked off), simply because. Doesn't seem much I guess. He really had to reach over to do it, you know. The umbrella didn't fall on the side close to him. I dunno. Maybe I'm just touched by the casual kindness. He actually does his part in group works too! (then again, this should be expected since we're graduate students). If I were a guy, he's the kind of guy I would want to be.


Sounds weird I know. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't sound weird.

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Arrgghh. I have to dance the cha-cha on Sept 1. Not that I hate dancing, and didn't I say I >secretly< style="font-style: italic;">

I Speak but Nobody Hears

...or at least you don't.


I don't know where to start. Even when I'm not saying it out loud, just thinking out my feelings is a stressful thing.


What I'm wondering is, is it better for the both of us if I just stay away completely? You don't really need me anyway. I doubt it would make a difference to you. Or that you'd even notice. Whether or not I'm here.


I'm being unfair of course. I know that too. It's just that this whole thing is making me stupid, and I've been desperately trying not to let the whole situation make me behave like a stupid, petty, unfair girl. I'm seeing signs of it already.


... I'll see you around.

This Year is Gonna Be Incredible

Wala lang, just my attempt at having a line from a song as my blogpost title.


Plot twists have been popping up both in fiction and in real life, so really there's a lot going on, just been too lazy or busy to update.


But, since I am the way I am, the initial emotional flavor of these important events doesn't really linger as long as they do with other people, so I guess I won't be writing as colorfully about them as I otherwise would have been had I written about them immediately. Anyway...


Here they are, updates, in no particular order:

1. Very important story developments in the manga series I've been following, ever since my sister introduced me to it: Inuyasha. Kikyou has died, a second time, and Inuyasha seems to have lost the will to fight (temporarily). Losing your first love, a second time, does that. Poor boy. Things will get better though. Because this is a children's comic, and what I like most about stories written for children is this: there's always redemption in the end. I believe in redemption.

... Also, Sesshomaru (Inuyasha's superhot, metrosexual, full-blooded youkai half-brother) just met up with his mother (she's still around?) and seems to be upgrading is sword. He just slipped into Hell in the last chapter, in pursuit of a dog who took his ward. Sooo looking forward to what will happen next.

All in all... really significant turn of events, and 400+ chapters into the series Rumiko proves she really does have many, many more stories to tell.


Yes, important story developments in fictional stories I follow count as updates to my life :-)

2. It just really hit me recently, that the report I was working on in CEM, was connected to this. Pretty interesting stuff. If only I had more time to do it. We just wrapped up last Friday though. The people we talk to are really nice though. Not like clients in the other job.


3. Got promoted and got a raise. Yey! The first in all my 6 years of working. Because when you're self-employed there are no raises unless you're making more money. I guess I wasn't at the time. I feel a bit more grown up now. Just a bit more. Until I think about my lack of savings, which makes me feel like a newbie to the working world. Haay, depressing.


4. Got a haircut.


5. And well, since I find good news in other people's lives updates to mine as well, I would like to take the opportunity now to congratulate people with good news in their lives: Joa, who will be getting married next year, and Hazel who has been grabbed by a cable channel to host a medical probe-team type show. Very cool girls! Let's take over the world!

Blue?!? But Everyone Likes Blue... :(

Your Power Color Is Blue

Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What's Your Power Color?

My Demon Aura Rates...

You Are 20% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Hmmm. Did I really answer as honestly as possible? Mwahahahahaha!

A Week of Pivotal Stories

This week has been an amazing week of good stories!


Of course, they're all fictional.


Still. That's never stopped me before from crowing in delight. :D


Briefly, a rundown:

1. House, M.D., 2nd season, Episode 2: Ka-iyak!

2. Carnivale: Ben Hawkins finally finds Scudder! Management is a freak! (but we knew that) Pervert Brother Justin is Management's Son! Ben Hawkins grows in power! Episode ends with: Sophie in Brother Justin's House! (ewww...)

3. Carnivale part 2: after Wikipedia-hunting, I find (apart from more than I really needed to know :)) that: Scudder and Brother Justin are of the House of Dark, and Ben Hawkins and Management are of the House of Light; and... Brother Justin is actually Sophie's father... (will he cut off her right hand?)

4. Inuyasha: NARAKU!..... Kikyou...


5. And of course... Superman Returns


I'll probably take these up in detail some other day, or in the other blog. Still writing Hatim's paper. Grrrrr.