Start-Up: Exciting and Heart-Fluttering

To me the following conversation best illustrates the nature of Dalmi's feelings for the penpal Dosan (i.e. HJP) and the present Dosan (i.e. NDS).

H: Dalmi, which Dosan do you like better?

D: What do you mean?

H: The one who used to write you letters 15 years ago or the one you met again as an adult?

D: What kind of a question is that? Why separate the two, it’s the same guy.

H: I know that. But if we were to separate the two, which Dosan would you pick?

D: Well, if I have to pick one… I’d still pick the one who wrote me those letters 15 years ago.

H: So the old Dosan?

D: Yes. Because he’s my first love. I care about him a lot, and I’m grateful to him.

H: What about Dosan as you know him now?

D: The Dosan I know now, I’m still getting used to him. He’s like a different person at times. That makes me a little sad, but for some reason those few odd moments here and there excite me and make my heart flutter.   

At the same time, this is the conversation that probably most confuses JP stans. They pay attention only to the first half of her answer - the blue font. They conveniently ignore the second half, the red bold font.

Dalmi and Halmeoni had this conversation after their dinner with JP and Dosan in Episode 7. Halmeoni was curious and worried because it seemed to her that Dosan was already developing feelings for Dalmi but she knew how strong a hold the old letters had on Dalmi. Dalmi's answer showed two things: 

1. She was noticing differences between penpal Dosan from 15 years ago, and the Dosan she knew now, and
2. She felt differently about the two personas

For the penpal Dosan, Dalmi felt gratitude. She cared about him and would always be grateful for the comfort and solace his words had brought to her 15 years ago. That was why he was her first love. 

But for the present Dosan, what Dalmi felt was... a heart-fluttering thrill. In those odd moments when he behaved in ways that were most different from the persona of 15 years ago, these actually excited Dalmi.

In other words, while penpal Dosan (i.e. JP) comforted her, the present Dosan (i.e. NDS) thrilled her and swept her off her feet.

I say this because that's exactly what happens to Dalmi the next day, when NDS refused to accept that the only way for their company to prosper was to accept money and opportunity from a man who would emotionally assault Dalmi. When Chairman Won shamed Dalmi for her impoverished childhood, NDS stood up for her and ended the meeting. NDS knew she couldn't do it herself out of a deep sense of obligation to their company. And so NDS did it for her. There were other ways for their company to grow. He would not do it at her expense.

NDS ended that meeting with the famous (or infamous) nameplate-smashing scene in Episode 7.

When Dalmi kissed NDS on the rooftop afterwards, it wasn't because he had promised to make it up to her by finding another, more lucrative project. It wasn't because he had promised to become more influential than Chairman Won. It was because he had stood up for her, and defended her, from the attack of a powerful man. In that moment, he had defended not just Dalmi's pride but also the memory of her dear father, whom Dalmi loved so so much. He had been completely on her side.

That's why she kissed him.

I really believe that this moment, and all the moments before and after when Dalmi initiated "skinship" between her and NDS, marked those times when NDS thrilled her and swept her off her feet. The significant ones being:

• Hugging him when they got into Sandbox. As discussed in an earlier post, this achievement was truly theirs. 
• Kissing him on the rooftop. His courage and complete defense of her had won her over that day.
• Hugging him when he took her and Halmeoni to view a beautiful beach sunset. His gesture, meant to help her create as many beautiful memories with her grandmother as possible before her grandmother turned completely blind, moved her. 

These were the moments when the real Dosan shone through and made Dalmi's heart flutter. The nameplate-smashing incident however, was the pivotal turning point for Dalmi. That was the moment when she saw the real NDS very clearly: he was principled, courageous, and completely on her side. And it swept her off her feet.

To me, that moment marked the beginning of the end of the hold that the childhood letters had on her. NDS won her over that day and would continue winning her over.

By being himself.